Some Offbeat Stuff

Something that I wrote up a while ago with a computer and too much time on my hands. Enjoy!

Horrible Movie Concepts:
“Winnie the Pooh VS. Tigger 2” – The ultimate sci-fi horror showdown between Winnie the Pooh and the new cybernetic prototype of his betrayed friend Tigger who has risen from the dead.

“Somewhere Over the Rainbow…of DEATH” – The Wicked Witch is back and she’s back with a vengeance. Armed with a shotgun and her past companions, who all went to Japan to learn martial arts, Dorothy hopes to take her down for good. And this time, it’ll take a lot more than just a bucket of water!

“Bowflex: The Movie” – John Jay, an ex-Navy Seal and part-time FBI agent, has recently joined the CIA to hunt down the criminal-terrorist-drug-lord who murdered his brother during a drug-deal-bank-robbery/political assassination gone wrong. In his quest for revenge, John recruits an unlikely ally—a high-tech Bowflex machine with a dark and troubled past. Can these two work together to solve this crime or will their troubled relationship act to further drive them apart?

“Catwoman’s Glitter 2: The Battlefield Gigli” – A girl with big dreams pursues a music career while acting as a bodyguard for the mafia who’s at war with an alien race seeking to enslave humanity, while fending off the vigilante attacks of a woman dressed as a cat.

“Public TV Pledge Drive: The Movie” – Some old guy/lady talks about giving money to public TV in exchange for a tote bag for about two hours straight…oh wait, they kinda do that already. This movie is brought to you by the Chubb Institute and The Learning Foundation (“Higher learning for higher education.”).

“The Day Before Tomorrow” – A pre-apocalyptic movie that takes place exactly in the present day and exactly at the present moment. It’s just basically a movie theatre with one large mirror in front of the audience instead of a movie screen.

“Kid’s Infomercial: The Movie” – Also known as “Yugi-oh: the Movie”.